Add Fun to Your Relationship

Relationships are a great adventure. Successful relationships aren’t about the absence of pain, but the presence of joy. Often people with the best intentions understand that “relationships are hard work” and they work so hard at their relationship that they forget to make time for hopes, dreams, and fun.

According to research done by Dr John Gottman, “Making Life Dreams Come True” is one of the core principles that leads to long-lasting, healthy relationships. Couples who honor each other’s hopes and ambitions are more likely to stay together than those who do not. It doesn’t have to be anything extreme, but showing an interest in your partner’s ambitions is a way that you can find joy in your relationship. Here are three steps you can try this week:

Step One: Prioritize Joy

It’s important to remember why you are in a relationship in the first place; you want to enjoy your life side-by-side with your loved one. Remember that giddy feeling you had when your relationship was new; when you looked forward to the next time you would get to spend time together? It’s time to get that feeling back. After a long day of work and/or parenting, couples are often too tired to spend meaningful time together. Prioritizing joy in your relationship means finding a way to say “no” to the less important things in your day so that you have a bit more energy for interesting conversations or playful interactions with your partner.

Step Two: Don’t wait for fun. Go get it now.

There are a lot of mundane tasks that we have to do every day. We’ve all daydreamed about trips and exotic locations while doing the dishes or the laundry. A mistake that many couples make is waiting until a trip or the weekend to have fun. A little creativity can go a long way in finding ways to add amusement to otherwise dull activities. Make games out of chores that you and your spouse have to do together. Or run errands together instead of divvying them up.

Step Three: Plan your adventures.

Sometimes, “working on your relationship” requires things like setting up childcare or brainstorming inexpensive excursions. Date nights won’t happen if time isn’t carved out. But setting the time aside and making a plan will allow for you and your spouse to find joy and fun in your relationship.

As you make time for fun in your relationship, you will have more time to explore your partner’s hopes and ambitions.

For more about finding fun in your relationship: https://www.gottman.com/blog/not-having-fun-in-your-relationship-heres-how-to-fix-it